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*For five years I helped you. Took the lion's share of the pain, the horror, the grief and the guilt. Five long years! And then...you betrayed me!*
Aye, for five years, the Other had been young Gregorick WaltheSeer's internal companion. Always there. Always comforting, consoling...And growing in power. This alternate personality, born of horror and grief, was no benevolant consoler in truth. But his own mind and soul's tomentor. Ever and always there, ever seeming to give support and someone for the orphan to turn to. But ever and always reminding him, insidiously, of his anguish, his loss...His guilt.
And the Other had fed off of these emotions, and grown slowly, in power over his mind.
That is...until at the age of sixteen, Matthew the Ranger, had come to the lands of his foster family's estate. And the wild young man that Gregorick had become, had grown up with the woods and fields as substitute parents of a sort...The two, the Ranger and the turmoiled youth, had formed an almost instant bond. That survived to this day. For with his foster father's blessing, Gregorick had left when Matthew himself moved on, joining him and seeking to learn all that he could from him.
~I did not! I tried to get you to come with me!~
Oh aye, the tables had been turned then. And it had been he who had held out his hand and called to the Other then. His friend, his brother, his confidant, his supporter and tormentor...Yes, he'd tried to get the Other to come with him, when he'd left with Matthew.
*I never said I did'nt come with you, I said you betrayed me!*
For, unbeknown to Gregorick then, unknown to him for eleven more years...The Other HAD "tagged along", riding shotgun in Gregorick's head. But staying silent, staying secret...Hidden so well within his subconcious for the years of his maturing to a man, under the compassion and wisdom of the Ranger Matthew...That in truth, Gregorick WaltheSeer had all but forgotten about the Other...and when he did recall that sense of a strange boy whom he had known somehow...It was as if naught more then a childhood figment, some "imaginary friend", for he'd allowed no-one, no one at all, close to him again after the night of discovering he was an orphan...No one, except finaly, eventualy, the Ranger Matthew, who far more and far better then Gregorick's foster father, though the man had tried in his own way...Had been able to give consolation in his own quiet way, compassion and offering to teach the young man who had no clue who or even what he was, no titled and landed Earl's son anymore...not only a trade, but a way of life. Surrounded by the woods and fields and the flora and fauna...Matthew had given him, what the Other had secretly always kept him from...
Internal peace.
~I wish you had stayed behind! I wish you'd died!~
*Fool! You CREATED me! I am as much a part of you now, as your breath and your pulse. But I am grateful to you, for coming to the royal castle, I must admit...*
The mocking sound of the Other's laughter ringing in his head, caused the nightmare stricken General Count, to toss wildly in his bed again, and he groaned out in dismay. Aye, he had no doubt the Other was indeed grateful, for his coming to the royal castle! On the surface of things, it had been to swear his fealty once King Isidore took the throne. And he had done so, yes. Though by that time he counted himself honored to be considered not only a loyal subject, but friend to his soverign, as well.
However, on the way to the royal castle that loomed over the capital city of Barberous...He'd felt the stirring, the "returning", of the Other...
And where the Other was still yet weaker, still the night to his day...
The night is alluring and powerfull in it's own right. And once more Gregorick WaltheSeer had begun to fall prey to the sinister charm and persuasion of his Other inside.
*Dont even TRY to deny it, you are enjoying discovering what lays within your soul, your blood and your heiratage as a nobleman of Barberous!*
And it was true...that, he could not deny...The now General Count had discovered the sadist in him, and though the Other might chortle in dark amusement, enjoying that aspect as well...It WAS a part of them both, aye. Light and Dark.
But...
~Aye, I do. And I have accepted it. But I do nae accept YOU, any longer! Ye curse me with yer presence. Ye once offered comfort but twas only to warp me, use me, weaken me, and make yerself the stronger! No more....
NO MORE!~
Everyone wears masks. We are all different people to those in our lives, family, friends, enemies...We all show "other" parts of ourselves to each in turn, and hardly ever is it whom we realy are, deep down inside. Violently, in this nightmare dreamscape he was caught within...Gregorick tore the "mask" of the Other, from himself...tore it off, flung it away from him...And held his head in despair.
The Other, in the dream form of the mask...Was still powerful though...And crooned softly to him, even now.
*You need me yet, Gregorick. Or have you forgotten our plans...Plans for vengence? Without me, you can not see such through. It was your weakness, your inability to deal with the past and all that occured, that created me, you fool! And you are not strong enough to face Zackfare and what must be done there, without me!*
Sobs...Sobs that the man would never utter in his waking life, tore through the dream form of himself. Despair...and the acknowledgement that the Other, torn from him or not for the moment, was yet...Right.
~Foul abomination of my own damned soul!~
He cried out then, snatching the "mask" of the Other back up, and...out of what he believed was necessity...Afixing it back to his face, his body, his mind and his soul...Once more.
~I swear to ye, if I survive Zackfare, then I WILL destroy ye, once and for all! What I made, I can sunder!~
The Other, laughed...Low and mocking in his mind.
*That, my dear Gregorick, is a very large "if". We never planned to escape from our wrath there, alive, and you know that perfectly well. But, if we do somehow luck out...Then it will be interesting indeed...To see if you will have the strength THEN, to destroy me. I doubt it...*
And, though it seemed that it was Gregorick that wore the "mask" of the Other at times...
In truth, the Other...saw things quite, quite differently indeed. And secure within Gregorick's mind again, nestled back into it's den of dark torments to his soul...He crooned, half singing now...A demonic sort of lullabye, to Gregorick's unconcious mind...
Hey I知 your life
I知 the one who takes you there
Hey I知 your life
I知 the one who cares
They, They betray
I知 your only true friend now
They, They値l betray
I知 forever there
I知 your dream, make you real
I知 your eyes when you must steal
I知 your pain when you can稚 feel
Sad but true
I知 your dream, mind astray
I知 your eyes while you池e away
I知 your pain while you repay
You know it痴 sad but true.
You, You池e my mask
You池e my cover, my shelter
You, You池e my mask
You池e the one who痴 blamed
Do, Do my work
Do my dirty work, scapegoat
Do, Do my deeds
For you池e the one who痴 shamed
I知 your dream, make you real
I知 your eyes when you must steal
I知 your pain when you can稚 feel
Sad but true
I知 your dream, mind astray
I知 your eyes while you池e away
I知 your pain while you repay
You know it痴 sad but true.
I'm your dreams,
I'm your eyes,
I'm your pain
I'm your dreams
I'm your eyes
I'm your pain
You know it's sad but true.
Hate, I知 your hate
I知 your hate when you want love
Pay, Pay the price
Pay for nothing痴 fair
Hey, I知 your life
I知 the one who took you there
Hey, I知 your life
And I no longer care
I知 your dream, make you real
I知 your eyes when you must steal
I知 your pain when you can稚 feel
Sad but true
I知 your truth, telling lies
I知 your reasoned alibis
I知 inside open your eyes
I知 you
Sad but true
And...unfortunetly...it was all too correct in it's malicious melody. IF indeed, he and the Other survived bringing their wrath to Zackfare...It was debatable at this point, whether Gregorick WaltheSeer, would ever be able to truly rid himself of what his own grief, horror and most all, self loathing as a child that blamed himself for not being able to save his family...And for surviving them...Had created in his mind. And that Other though it had been "slumbering" from the age of sixteen until recently...Had not grown any less in power, but more in truth. It kept him from even now, forming any sort of real bond with anyone. God's teeth, his own stallion, Ghost, surly arabian that the steed was, was in truth closer to Gregorick WaltheSeer, then he'd yet let any human be!
And love? Everything he'd loved had died that night he'd been but eleven years old. And he'd never since allowed anyone else close enough to try to stir that emotion again. Lust, oh aye. Fond'ness and friendship, yes as well. But love...no, the Other would not allow love.
In it's eyes, there was only one who should and would, rule Gregorick's heart.
It.
As it continued to warp and damn them both. Such was it's "job" after all...Born of grief and hatered...The Other was incapable of doing anything else.
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When Gregorick awoke, finaly before dawn the next morning...It was to sweat soaked sheets, and bedding he'd gotten tangled within as if a funeral shroud.
But he recalled nothing, nothing at all of the flashback, the nightmare and the "conversation" with the Other.
In the manner of the one who ruled his subconcious, the Other did not wish him to remember it.
And so...he did'nt.
But could not shake, even so...The feeling of despair and damned resignation, within him now. And he'd sought out Ghost, instinctively seeking the only living thing he'd realy allow any comfort for himself, from. Nimue...Nimue was lost to him now. He'd given her up freely, to the dark demand within, spurred on by the Other, for the right to torture the witchbitch in the dungeon. And Jocelyn...
...Jocelyn he both was drawn to, and driven to avoid, in equal measure at times. And this was not without reason. He might be drawn to her, aye...But the Other saw her as a rival and a threat...And asserted itself within him if and when it saw the need and it had the power...to keep him from becoming any closer to her if possible.
And so...it was Ghost he'd sought out. And had ridden off on, tearing out of the castle courtyard gates almost before the guards could open them wide enough for even the sleek'ness of the grey arabian stallion to race through. He'd ridden Ghost long, hard...And the steed had no complaints, he had felt rather neglected of late, though the half lame stablelad adored Ghost, and cared for him as well as he would have if the stallion had been his very own.
But the horse had not been out on a good, long and hard galloping ride for over a week...And the pleasure and wild spirit of the beast he rode...Finaly was able to help, along with escaping if only for a day, into the wilds of the King's Forest near the royal castle...Helped to calm and ease Gregorick's soul again...
At least...conciously...
Fri Mar 14, 2008 6:59 am